A-DAMN Lambert in Nashvegas

Posted by: WD on: July 9, 2010

• In: Adam Lambert
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I can’t believe I just called Nashville “Nashvegas,” holy crap…

So, now that I am no longer braindead from going for over 24 hours without sleep, then standing and walking around in high-heeled boots (not as bad as the ones I wore to my friend’s birthday party and, before that, around campus–never doubt my insanity when it comes to fashion, people), it’s story review time!  Since, as you all know, I witnessed the glory that is Adam Lambert in Nashville Wednesday night, and I kind of promised a review…

First off, the Sporky meetup:  Bea is so sweet and so nice and so generous.  I still can’t believe she did all of this for me.  Awesome.  Very, very awesome.  And crazy.  But mostly awesome.  There was some awkwardness between us when we were trying to converse, but since the majority of face-to-face conversations with me are filled with awkward silences because I utterly fail at having face-to-face conversations…yeah.  If any of the rest of you meet me IRL, expect awkward silences, ’cause I am much better at writing than I am at talking.

And, thankfully, there was not much drama from the parental units over the Ev0l Internet Person–Dad left for work before I announced that I was going to Nashville to see Adam, and I stayed in bed all day yesterday so I haven’t seen him since, and though Mom was concerned and kept going on about how I “didn’t really know this person,” there was no yelling about how stupid I am or anything.  Anyways, I didn’t deal with them much afterward.  I went to bed early yesterday morning, and I crashed until about 8:30 in the evening.

So, the concert?  Fabulous.  I mean, really, really fabulous–the kind of fabulous you can’t quite describe.  The Ryman Auditorium is small–a lot smaller than I was expecting, even though I knew he was doing most of his shows in smaller places–and pretty.  Stained glass windows in the back, general prettiness elsewhere.  This is the first time I’ve ever been there, and I kind of fell in love with the place within the first few minutes of being there.  And I like Nashville.  It’s bigger and more confusing than what I’m used to, but I like it.  One day, when I’m finally driving, I’m heading up there–and I may never leave.

…Okay, if I’m still in college afterward, I’ll probably leave.  But, uh, I’m rather ridiculously sick of small towns.  I grew up in–and still live in–a small town, I go to school in a small city…but I digress.

Anyways, concert.  Right.  The first act was Allison Iraheta.  I came in wanting to love her, because I know about the whole Kradison (Kris Allen/Adam/Allison, for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term) friendship thing, saw…uh, one bit of her on Idol with Adam, and because she has awesome hair.  And I did love her.  She is absolutely adorable, and damn, she can sing.  I want to own her album now.  I want her headlining tour now.  I want to steal her hair now.  I kind of want a girlfriend who’s like her now.  Anyways, I loved her.  She was fun, she was full of energy, she rocked, she can sing…loved her.

After Allison Iraheta was Orianthi.  I, er, didn’t like Orianthi as much.  She didn’t ~capture~ me at all.  Her voice was…meh.  Her songs were meh.  Her “Mad Guitar Skillz” left me wishing for earplugs–subtlety is, believe it or not, a Good Thing, honey.  I spent most of the time she was on thinking, “Yes, I get it.  You’re good at playing the guitar.  But you’re just showing off, you’re boring me to tears, can you please get off the stage now so we can watch ADAM?  Or bring back Allison?  Please?“  Not impressed.  I won’t be buying her album anytime soon, and I won’t go out of my way to listen to her again.

Finally, Orianthi was gone.  And we waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.

It was worth the wait.

Adam Lambert’s voice is unreal.  Going into this, I knew that he was talented (of course I knew; I’ve been fangirling him obsessively for months), and I knew that he sounded much better live than in recordings.  But holy SHIT!  There are no words to describe just how un-fucking-believable his voice is.  Amazing, phenomenal, breathtaking, unreal.  I have concluded that Neil Lambert was not joking when he said his brother was “a glittery alien from Planet Fierce.” There is no way a human can possibly sound like that.  No effing way.  And it makes me happy to think Adam Lambert is an alien or the honest-to-Lady-Godga Gay Messiah no brain I will not write that fanfic now, STFU.

Anyways, Adam?  Should change his name to Adamn.  Seriously, ZOMG!  He owned that stage last night.  If, somehow, that man doesn’t become a fucking legend, then I will have to cut a bitch.  He’s beautiful, he’s amazing, he’s so talented…Great Sporking Lork, I want everyone in the world to see him perform live–or, at least, every Glambert in the world to see him perform live.  And if he doesn’t become a music legend, then the music industry and the entertainment industry and the entire fucking world is stupid.  That man is not good.  He is not great.  He is not phenomenal.  He is…words don’t exist yet for how utterly beyond fabulous his voice is.

…I’m sorry.  I can’t get over his VOICE.  Sweet mother of glitter, that man can sing.  Because I was so distracted by the awesome while it was happening, I had to look up the songs he sang on Wikipedia to do a proper review. XD Anyways, he sang, in order:  “Voodoo,” “Down the Rabbit Hole,” “Ring of Fire,” “Fever,” “Sleepwalker,” “Whataya Want From Me,” “Soaked,” “Aftermath,” “Sure Fire Winners,” “Strut,” “Music Again,” and “If I Had You,” followed by encore performances of “Mad World” and “Whole Lotta Love.”  He didn’t perform “For Your Entertainment,” “Pick U Up,” “A Loaded Smile,” or–and this was very disappointing–”Broken Open.”  “Broken Open” is my favorite slow Adam song, and they didn’t do it.  Augh.  But it was hard to care during the actual show, because the show was amazing.  And they did do my favorite fast song, “Fever,” so yay!  (Oh, America, why must you hate the “he” in “Fever”?  That song would make a killer single…)

There also wasn’t much Really Hot Adam/Tommy Action, alas; I’m guessing they toned it down because they were, y’know, performing in Nashville, in the Ryman Auditorium.  Nashville is the home of country music, after all, and the Ryman was once the home of the Grand Ole Opry (and is again because of the floods back in May).  But I am a filthy, filthy pervert who likes boykissing and boytouching and Action, and I was hoping for a little bit.  There were a few ~glances~ and they got close to each other a few times–and, of course, there was the obligatory Adamtastic pelvic thrusting and whatnot–but, for the most part, it was tasteful.

Dammit.

Anyways, during the actual show, it didn’t matter that it was lacking important bits like boykissing and “Broken Open.”  Adam was…there are no words.  As I have said.  Because that man is phenomenal.  Unreal.  Otherworldly.  There is no way to describe how it felt to be surrounded by his voice.  He just…I…*flaily hands* EEEEEEEEE!

My favorite performance?  “Soaked.”  I mean…holy shit.  All of the performances were amazing, but “Soaked” was…wow.  It was easily my favorite performance of the night, and since all of the songs were beyond amazing, that’s really saying something.  Second favorite…um…”Ring of Fire” was sexy as hell, “Fever” was fun, “Strut” was epic win, “Sure Fire Winners” was epic win, “Sleepwalker” was beautiful, “Music Again” was…dammit, I can’t choooooose.  I loved them all.  I even managed to like “Aftermath,” and I don’t really like “Aftermath.”

After the show, Bea asked me what my favorite costume was.  Um…all of them?  I mean, how do you choose when you have all of this (and a few that they’re missing–so glad that plenty of people got pics last night, because my camera sucks) to choose from?  Besides, I was more distracted by the man inside the costumes.  He could go onstage wearing a paper bag, and he would still look fabulous (Oh, Sparkle Gods, why can’t the man do a show naked?  Oh, right, it would kill the entire audience with guh.  Nevermind then.  But what a way to go…).

Have I mentioned that I am a filthy, filthy pervert?  Because, um…

Anyways, there isn’t much more to say than this:  A. The show was epic. and B. If you ever get the chance to see Adam Lambert live, do it.  I mean it.  Seriously.  Do whatever it takes to see that man live, because you will not regret it.

The only things I regret?  Not getting any probably-crappy videos, since I can’t watch anyone else’s until late August fuck you very much dial-up, and not buying any merchandise because I am completely broke and was suffering from a serious case of Crowd Overload.  But I do have a birthday coming up at the end of the month…*starts preparing to make puppy eyes at the ‘rents*

My new goal in life?  Meet Adam Lambert someday.  And Tommy Joe Ratliff.  I’ll almost settle for meeting Tommy–I did, after all, yell “I love you, Tommy!” when Adam was introducing the band members.  No one heard me, but I don’t care; I did it anyway. I love Adam’s band.  Monte is an amazing guitarist, Longineu kicks serious ass on the drums, Camila is fabulous on the keyboard, and Tommy is…*makes heart eyes over the pretty, awesome bass player*

Also, I dare someone to yell “Adam Lambert is the gay messiah!” at one of his future concerts.  I DARE YOU! You have no idea how much that would make me lol especially if he heard you say it. XD

On a more serious note, I was so proud of Nashville and Tennessee the other night–so proud.  I saw no protesters, which I was kind of worried about–I mean, Tennessee is part of the Bible Belt, after all, and is the home of country music.  But I saw nothing but love.  And the crowd at the show was so diverse.  It was amazing. I love that so many different types of people love him so much.  Again, if that man doesn’t become a legend–the good kind–then there is something seriously wrong with the universe.

[insert lame and ~inspiring~ comment about how he really does make people wanna listen to music again here]